I wish I could be a guy like Nel-Nel. ;_;

Him: i beat up this kid today
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: good job! *thumbs up*
Him: yeah
I am NOT pangit: what happened?
Him: i think i told you about it before
Him: the kid who kept talking shit
I am NOT pangit: yup yup
Him: i was on the phone
Him: so i paused the game
Him: and he kept unpausing it
Him: im like what the fuck
I am NOT pangit: mm hmm
Him: and took the controller from he
Him: him*
I am NOT pangit: was this during school?
Him: and he tried to take it back
Him: so i got pissed and punched him
I am NOT pangit: hahaha
I am NOT pangit: did he punch you back?
Him: and then after i got off the phone i was like
Him: fucking box me in the garage now
Him: so we all went to the garage
Him: (my friends house, his birthday was today)
I am NOT pangit: ahh i see
Him: and we were gonna box
Him: but he kicked me once
Him: i got pissed off and i stopped fooling around with him
Him: choked him for about a minute, thought he was dead or something since he wasnt moving
I am NOT pangit: holy shit..
I am NOT pangit: damn
Him: and then i slammed him to the ground
I am NOT pangit: ohhhh
Him: and i held him down with my arms while he tried to get up and he was trying to kick me
I am NOT pangit: what were your friends saying?
Him: i was going to sock him in the face but his head would have hit the cement and give him a concussion or something
Him: nothing they were just laughing
I am NOT pangit: lol
Him: my friend doesnt car
Him: care
I am NOT pangit: you didn't get in trouble, did you?
I am NOT pangit: oh okay
I am NOT pangit: that's cool
Him: and my other friend hates himt oo
Him: because that kid talked shit to him too
I am NOT pangit: at least you didn't do it in school, and get in trouble for it
I am NOT pangit: lol
Him: and i just socked him in the balls like 3 times
I am NOT pangit: hahahahahaha
Him: after that happened we went outside
Him: and really box
Him: body shots
I am NOT pangit: damn..
Him: but i kept laughing because he was like tickling me with his crappy punching
I am NOT pangit: is he all scrawny?
Him: yeah
Him: kinda
Him: so-so
I am NOT pangit: hehe i see
Him: and the rest of the day he didnt say a thing
I am NOT pangit: that's hella funny
Him: yeah i feel great
I am NOT pangit: I hate people that talk shit and don't do anything about it
Him: got so much anger off
Him: :-)
I am NOT pangit: haha
I am NOT pangit: *pat pat*
Him: later on in the arcade
I am NOT pangit: congratulations
Him: at orleans
Him: i socked him in the nuts again
I am NOT pangit: lol, why?
Him: and he tried to kick me and almost fell over
I am NOT pangit: omg haha
Him: he said he was going to kick my ass
Him: now he doesnt say anything at all
I am NOT pangit: that's good
I am NOT pangit: man... I wish I was a guy so I could do that with other guys
I am NOT pangit: girls never want to fight
Him: hehe
I am NOT pangit: at least, here anyways

I'm listening to Christina Aguilera's, "Dirrty". Why? I have no fucking idea. At least I'm not listening to Britney Spears. *cringe*

I just skimmed through George's blogger after clicking on his link from DDR Freak. Wow. Almost every entry is the same-- they're all about depression and some random chick. He writes in such a depressive manner... IN EVERY SINGLE ENTRY. Jeezus mother fucking christ. It's pathetic. Someone should slap him and say, "Just fucking get over it, let the fucking world go 'round and you'll be fine. Worrying about all that shit will only make you age faster and then, no one would want you. Consequenty, you'll be alone yet again, sobbing and crying over every single bad thing that happens in your pitiful life".

Sure, I can be mean and I do cuss a lot, which may be un-appealing to guys and may cause me to be alone, but at least I don't fucking cry over it. I would fucking kill myself if I ever cry for a guy about how much I loved him/missed him, while in the other hand, that person may be out partying and having sex with some chick. Crying over teenage relationships is lame.

I can't believe that I actually liked George once. I thought he was a nice guy. But through time, I felt like he was just giving out a show. Sometimes, when we would talk online, he would say that he was crying. Fucking bullshit. He just wants people to be sorry for his miserable ass. We had a fight--or we stopped talking--or something a long ass time ago, and when I saw him at MGL sometime before school started, I fucking gave that bastard the cold shoulder. Again, I would like to say that if I know you pretty damn well, and you piss me off online, then I'll return the favor by pissing you off/giving you the evil glare in person. I don't like putting on shows in front of people and pretend that everything is handy-dandy. It's just the way that I am.

Actually, when you think about it and read through George's blog, it's quite comedic. Histerical as in, how pathetic he really is when it comes to love. I bet you he did something really terrible to that chick that he's apologizing to, and now he regrets it. YET, if or when they get back together or whatever, he does the same shit over, the girl will break up with him/tell him to get the fuck away from her, and AGAIN, he falls into another one of his "deep depressions". Hahahahahaha. Fucking hilarious. It's so pathetically ironic, that IT JUST CRACKS YOU UP AND GIVES YOU A WARM FEELING INSIDE LIKE YOU WANT TO THROW UP, YET YOU WANT TO LAUGH SOME MORE AND SUDDENLY, YOU HAVE THE URGE TO KICK HIM ON THE NUTS TO MAKE HIM FEEL EVEN WORSE. IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!



[I knew one of those pictures would come in handy some day. XD]

GAGAKU MIYAVI

Careful, or Miyavi's crows might crap on your head!
HAW HAW HAW! You'll have to deal with them if
you really want GAGAKU MIYAVI to be your
roomate. He's high maintenance, and he loves to
screech into his old school silver microphone.
ROCK N ROLL! CUSTARD ROLL! ROLL ROLL ROLL! NO
PROBLEM! Enjoy your new roomie!


Which Miyavi would be your ideal bootcamp roomate?
brought to you by Quizilla

Lucky you. You are just Namie. Kind, sweet, down to
earth. You never let negitive things bring you
down and you always srtive for perfection.


Which Namie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm gonna watch a movie today with Ryan, Stephanie and maybe Melinda and Christina. I'll blog later, I really need to go now and take a shower so I could catch my bus. x_o;

Ladies and gentlemen, I now have a new Korean name. XD

KOREANGENIUS12: the filipino tradition of mother's maiden name as middle name
KOREANGENIUS12: but all screwed up
I am NOT pangit: I know that
I am NOT pangit: it's the same with me
I am NOT pangit: rofl
I am NOT pangit: Miladel Mendador Alba
I am NOT pangit: XP
KOREANGENIUS12: ahh
I am NOT pangit: actually
KOREANGENIUS12: soo many "m"s
I am NOT pangit: it should be:
I am NOT pangit: Miladel Bulactia Mendador Albla
I am NOT pangit: *Alba
I am NOT pangit: :D
I am NOT pangit: wait
I am NOT pangit: Miladel Bulactia Bautista Mendador Alba
I am NOT pangit: rofl
KOREANGENIUS12: ah
KOREANGENIUS12: Ryan Jung Hoon Soon Gil Chung Miranda Juntado
I am NOT pangit: hahaha
KOREANGENIUS12: jung hoon= my korean name
KOREANGENIUS12: yay!
KOREANGENIUS12: sad
I am NOT pangit: cool
KOREANGENIUS12: you should call me Hoon-ee from now on
KOREANGENIUS12: that's what my family calls me
KOREANGENIUS12: even elena
I am NOT pangit: i should call you jungle
I am NOT pangit: but pronouced like..
I am NOT pangit: Jung-LE
I am NOT pangit: lol ò_Ó
KOREANGENIUS12: y?
I am NOT pangit: i derno
I am NOT pangit: haha
KOREANGENIUS12: lol
KOREANGENIUS12: hoonee
KOREANGENIUS12: i should give you a korean name
I am NOT pangit: kay
KOREANGENIUS12: what does miladel mean?
KOREANGENIUS12: and alba?
I am NOT pangit: uhh
I am NOT pangit: i have no idea what miladel mean
KOREANGENIUS12: bla
KOREANGENIUS12: nm then
I am NOT pangit: but people say that alba means either beauty
I am NOT pangit: or dawn
I am NOT pangit: or something
KOREANGENIUS12: oh well
KOREANGENIUS12: then your last name could be "Cho" (Jo)
I am NOT pangit: how about something like Mi Cho?
I am NOT pangit: o_O;
KOREANGENIUS12: omg
I am NOT pangit: does Mi mean anything?
KOREANGENIUS12: that means Stupid or Crazy in korean
I am NOT pangit: LOL
I am NOT pangit: YES!!!!
I am NOT pangit: XD
KOREANGENIUS12: Mi Cho
KOREANGENIUS12: !!
KOREANGENIUS12: pronounced kinda like "Mi Chuh"
I am NOT pangit: that's my new korean name
I am NOT pangit: heee heeeeeee

Studio pict00rs!





Lame morning "I just woke up" pictures





:o

Just finished my symbolic, personal essay for English. If you can guess the meaning of this essay, as well as what 'symbolic' thing that I was talking about, I shall give you a cookie. My butt hurts. I gotta sleep.... late.

Mil Alba

Embraced by the Wind




A cold breeze from yonder, the wind coming from the open door sends a cold chill upon my back, which rises up my spine, numbing my brain and isolating my state of mind into a lonesome feeling of abandonment.

CRASH! My head swung to the side and with a sharp glance towards the area where the alienated thud commenced, I witness a pile of broken glass, and in the residue of the crash-site, lay the old photograph of my grandfather.

Memories come whirling over my head like a raging typhoon as I fall back onto the comfort of my bed, reminiscing it all as I gradually fall asleep. The image of my grandfather’s face calms me down like the gentle heat of a hot, summer’s day gone to end.

Such memories. Such beautiful, divine memories. Some people may think that at the age of four, a child may not have the emotional ability to appreciate the wondrous beauty and people around him/her, yet in spite of that, they are wrong. In the short time that I had with my grandfather, up until now, I still believe that he is the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life. He was the only adult in my life that never yelled at me, hit me or give me that nagging, “don’t ever do that again” look which I always seemed to get every time I would get in trouble. Yet, with any mischievous deed that I did, my grandfather would always have the patience to just shake off the damage that I had done with a smile and a hug. With my mother, every single juvenile mistake that I would take part of would usually end up with a spank from behind, either from her own bare hands, or with her black, leather belt.

WHIP! The intensity of the wind from the open door thrashes the blood red curtains of my room as I watch from a short distance, the storm, taking place outside. That cold breeze evolved into a boisterous thunderstorm.

I lifelessly walk towards the thumping of the door, slammed it, and within a few baby steps, I collapse and allow the bed to catch my fall. Blinking, breathing and living subconsciously, I curl up into a little ball as in fetus position. I gulped the air, blew a gasp of warm breath upon my freezing hands, and remembered the time when my grandfather did the same thing to me, after he had just been pushing me on the swing. The quivering trance of trepidation that the cold of the storm bestowed upon me slowly dispersed, as I remember the soft, warm wind that my grandfather provided me with on that day in the playground.

“Push me harder, grandfather!” I giggled, amused by the simplistic playground swing, with the wind accelerating faster and faster towards my neck, my only ticklish spot, causing me to laugh more heavily while my grandfather smiled and chuckled his heartening chuckle.

WOOF! Startled by my dog’s bark, I look down to pet her, but before I could get my hand to pat her head, she pounced onto my bed and started licking my face. I grabbed one of her dog treats inside the box located next to my computer chair, and threw it onto the foot side of my bed. Excitedly, my dog barked again and turned around to catch the tasty treat.

As my dog spun around in a 180-degree angle, the swooshing of her tail brought me back in remembrance of the times I had on the swing. The feeling of the wind that was bestowed from my dog’s tail waddling, reminded me of the playfulness nature of my grandfather. Each swish and each swash was followed by a crisp, wade of wind, with the light, tangy smell of my dog characterizing the friendly “spunk” that my grandfather possessed. Eventually, the swish swashing of my dog’s furry little tail rocked me back to sleep.

Spending the day with my mom at her work, I elatedly dug into the depths of my candy bag to grab a piece of gum. My mom would always bribe me with candy just to convince me to do little chores for her at her work, like get her some more paper clips, or deliver small packages of paperwork from person to person.

I sat there, in the other side of my mom’s personal office. While I was humming a childhood tune, and eating my candy, the phone rings. My mom asked me to answer it, and obediently, I did.
“Halloooo?” I asked.
“Who is this?” the old woman questioned.
“Who is this?” I retaliated.
“Put your mommy on the phone, dear,” she snapped.

Snickering, I quickly gave up my game of mockery and handed the phone to my mom. I sat back down, and watched my mom looking all sophisticated in her office chair, talking to this oh-so-important lady on the telephone.

After saying her goodbyes, my mother hung up. Tears were trickling down her cheeks. I tilted my head, wondering if the woman was mean to her too, and made her cry because the stranger called her some ridiculous name like poo-poo head.

Fervent wind. A few weeks later, in a tightly packed room full of people, the humidity in the air was not caused by the weather, yet by the heat of the tears from those around me. A casket. I wondered, what that long piece of wooden furniture was doing in the middle of the room, surrounded by ardently decorated bouquet of flowers. Was it a wedding? I love weddings. But why am I wearing a black dress? Why is everyone wearing black? I thought at weddings, you wore white.
My mother picks me up. Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, I’m hungry! Mommy....

She brings me towards the casket, giving me full view of the thing inside it. Grandfather! Silly, what are you doing in there? Uh oh, you’re not wearing black! Haha, grandmother is going to be so mad when she sees you! Stop playing tricks, will ya?

THUD. The casket bashes tightly close, as a single, violent whiff of the fierce wind sends me flying back, into the very pit of darkness. No one is here... I’m all alone. Grandfather! Where are you? Mama? Papa? Don’t leave me here! Suddenly, the wind starts to blow the darkness towards my direction, shifting it up to my feet like the harsh winds of a desert storm to the sand of its sacred ground. The wind was forcing the darkness to overcome me, to my ankles, to my entire legs, my upper body... my neck... I can’t speak. The darkness was engulfing me! Why am I so helpless? I hate being helpless!

With a cold sweat, I was reluctant to have woken up. I still cannot believe how ignorant I was as a child. There I was, above my own beloved grandfather’s casket, and the only thing I was thinking about was how he wasn’t wearing black like the rest of the people in the room. I did not understand death. It’s ironic how I understood love; how I knew how to laugh, and how I had such potential ability to learn, yet I did not even begin to grasp the concept of death. The non-living. Dying to me was just like one giant naptime.

Although, as I got older, I realized that my dear grandfather was never coming back. I remember questioning the nothingness of the wind, why they had to take away the one person that was most precious to me. The one person in this world, that I felt loved me most, the one person that always protected me from harm and prevented himself from causing pain or suffering upon myself.

But then again, something from the wind reminds me of the marvelous times I had with him, before he had his life taken away. Every time a soft, breeze of the gentle wind strides onto my rosy cheeks, I feel the warm wind of my grandfather’s holy breath. And then I think, maybe he really didn’t leave, after all.

I have this assignment for Health, that asks me to write about a break-up with a boyfriend/whatever. I decided to write about what happened between Anthony and I, and how much of an idiot I was, when it came to making decisions. This isn't the best of my writing, I wanted to keep it at a minimum of three pages [double spaced], because if I really got into detail, I probably would get carried away and start writing all poetical and have my simple assignment turn out to be twenty pages long.

[prepare yourself for drama *shrug*]

-----

Mil Alba

Dearest Anthony

Having to break up with one of your closest friends



It all started just a few days before my ex-boyfriend, Eugene, broke up with me. That was around the time that my friend, Anthony, and I started getting really close—just as friends. We’ve known each other for about a year or two, but after an unfortunate incident between him his ex, all of our friends started hating him. ‘Twas only I and a couple of other people in our ‘group’ that actually remained faithful to him and our friendship to him.

He and I started talking a lot more often on the phone, day after day, as I would try to cheer him out of his depression. It was really nice, re-discovering a friend and getting deeper into his emotional thoughts. It’s almost like finding a new friend. And that was all that I saw of him, a friend.

Then, one Sunday from the month of August, my boyfriend called me and said that things weren’t working out, because he said that we don’t spend enough time talking to each other. His excuse dealt with communication problems, yet the next day; I found out that he actually broke up with me because he liked my friend. I was pretty mad, and the person that I talked to the most about my problems was Anthony. The very next Tuesday, I met up with Anthony and we hung out at an arcade in Milpitas. I stayed there for a while with him, afraid to separate his side, because someone that hated him might start attacking him or something. It was around nine or ten o’clock into the night, as I followed Anthony out the door where he sat on the benches outside. We talked for a while, and as I started heading inside, he stopped me and asked, “Mil... will you be my girlfriend?”

I was shocked. I mean, I saw him as a little brother (even if he was older than I), and I wanted to carry him under my wing day and night so I could protect him. Sadly, I didn’t—couldn’t—return the feelings he had for me. Yet, I thought about how depressed he already was, how many people didn’t like him (maybe even hated him), and I thought, saying no would make him even more depressed. So I stood there, thinking. I summed it up to two choices that formed into a dilemma: 1. Say no, and make him sad 2. Say yes, pretend I liked him back, and make him happy.

I felt pressured. I wanted to make him happy, but I really didn’t want to lie to do it. Yet, at the spur of the moment, I said yes. I bit my lip after saying it and visually kicked myself on the shin. I thought, “Oh gosh, what have gotten myself into?”

That night, going home from Milpitas to Santa Cruz, I thought and thought about what I did. I felt guilty for lying, but happy for making him happy. Along with the burden of having to live a lie, I also had the image of Anthony, standing outside of the arcade as my friend drove me home. He looked so happy. I didn’t want to be one of the causes that made him un-happy, but doing so, made me un-happy.

I couldn’t even sleep that night. I probably had two hours of sleep, and having made my final decision that morning, I called Anthony up. I told him that I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, thus having a break-up just three days ago. I lied, again, and told him that maybe we could be together in the future, but (still lying) I wasn’t ready at the moment. I felt even more awful. I lied to make him happy by pretending that I liked him the same way he liked me, breaking up with him the next day out of guilt, THEN making another lie that the reason why I didn’t want to be with him was because I “wasn’t ready”, thus giving him the wrong impression that I maybe do like him.

Ashamed of what I had done, I stopped talking to Anthony altogether. I didn’t want to talk to him anymore because, I was afraid the lies will pile and pile up again and again. I felt even more awful.

I haven’t talked to Anthony once, ever since that morning that I broke up with him. I regret making that one, single lie—which led to a series of lies—which led to me, losing a dear good friend.

-----

I don't wanna I don't wanna I DON'T WANNA DO MY HOMEWORK!

*pouts*

Doing that last survey reminded me of what happened today during basketball practice. We have to share the gym with the Boy's Volleyball tryouts, right? This is like... the second day that we had to share the gym with them. Anywho, first of all, I left my basketball shoes at home [I was wairing my Dawls skater shoes], so it was really hard for me to run [this isn't really equivalent to my story, but oh well] and I also forgot to bring my sports bra to practice, so I had to wair my red shirt under my basketball jersey with my black windbreakers. Okay. Going on with the story, I walk in the gym, put my shit onto the stage, and go to get a ball so I could get warmed up. I was walked pass the Boy's volleyball section, and this really cute Junior/Senior was all, "Hey! It's Lisa-Lefteye Lopez!". I turned around, and he and some other volleyball players were looking at me.

WTF?

Oh yeah. They also kept yelling things like, "Brick!" or "Air ball!" everytime I and a couple of my team mates would attempt a three-point shot. Hah. I always made mine everytime they would yell something random like that, so they stopped. And during one of our water breaks, I went over to their side and served one of the balls from one side of the gym to the other. Pffft. They didn't think I could hit a volleyball that hard and straight, and started making "Ohhh Shiiiiit this girl can serve" remarks. Har di har har har I am the coolest person in the world. *sarcasm*

I can't wait until the summertime comes. God damnit. WHY ISN'T IT HERE YET? *pondering* My current summer plans are to:

-Get a job
-Go to Summer basketball practice, aka Basketball camp [not really a camp]
-Go to Summer volleyball practice so I could be in the volleyball team for next year
-Go to SoCal and visit family
-Maybe go to Vegas to visit step-dad
-Keep active and don't get lazy
-Save money
-Take Driver's Ed
-Go to Summer School and take extra classes

That's it for now. I like staying busy, it keeps me relaxed.

Hrm.

I think I've procrastinated enough. Today, after practice, I ate... watched T.V... and for the rest of the time until now, I went online and browsed around random blogs, while blogging on my own blog, while talking to people online---just to avoid doing my homework. It is now almost 11PM, and I think I can finally do my homework. Tee hee. I haven't procrastinated like this in a long time. And I'm hungry. We have no food at my house, though.. I think all we have is bread and crackers. Wow. I want some chocolate.

Okay. I think I really should leave now, before I fall asleep while rambling. This is my last blog of the night, I promise. Later.

Here's another survey that I stole from a friend that stole it from a friend that might have taken it from a friend. Geezus, I don't know! Just read on, loser. XP

x. name = Mil
x. birthday/age = 6/7/87
x. piercings = I've had my ears re-pierced twice, but I DREAD wearing earrings, so it closes everytime I re-poke it. *cringe* Earrings are evil.
x. tattoos = none
x. height = 5'3-5'4
x. shoe size = 7-71/2
x. hair color = Reddish brownish purple



last...
x. movie you rented = Ecks Vs. Sever
x. song you listened to = Don't know the name of the song
x. song you've downloaded = Something by Bjork
x. cd you bought = People still buy CDs? =X
x. cd you listened to = Mariah Carey's Best Hits.
x. person you've called = Melinda
x. person who's called you = Christina? I forgot.



x. you have a bf or gf = Err. No.
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = Anywhere out of Santa Cruz that isn't white-infested.
x. you think about suicide = Not lately.
x. you believe in on line dating = No.
x. others find you attractive = Not my department to answer that question.
x. you want more piercings = *cringe* No.
x. you want more tattoos = Oh! I want a butterfly, mommy! *sarcasm*
x. you drink = I drink juice.
x. you do drugs = Midol?
x. you like cleaning = Honestly, I do enjoy a good polish here or there. I am a fastidious fiend, afterall.
x. you like roller coasters = Hell mother fucking yes.
x. you write in cursive or print = Cursivey print.
x. you carry a donor card = No.


for or against
x. long distance relationships = NO. BAD IDEA.
x. using someone = Against.
x. suicide = eh. I would hate to be a hypocrite. =P
x. killing people = For. The world has to go 'round, and that means people have to die in order for people to be born.
x. teenage smoking = Against.
x. doing drugs = Against.
x. driving drunk = Definitely against.
x. gay/lesbian relationships = Don't care. You are what you are, and pffft... as long as you're not pissing me off, it's all good.
x. soap operas = Against. Soap operas are the devil.


favorite...
x. food = Vegeterian
x. song = "Is This It?" - The Strokes
x. thing to do = Basketball or sleeping.
x. thing to talk about = Anything random.
x. sports = Basketball, volleyball, soccer [those are just the main ones].
x. drinks = Anything cold, or mango.
x. clothes = Anything comfortable.
x. movies = Uhh. I don't have any movie favorites.
x. band[s] = The Vines, The Strokes, The White Stripes, The Hives... basically any band that starts with "The". Not because it's "cool", but because I love their music. I also love Weezer. Weezer is neat.
x. holiday = Hmm... Christmas. I love spending the holidays with my cousins down in SoCal. Much fun.


have you...
x. ever cried over a girl or guy = Yes, but not over a relationship.
x. ever lied to someone = Yes. We all lie.
x. ever been in a fist fight = I punched my best friend once in 3rd grade because she was pissing me off. Bitch didn't fight back, though.
x. ever been arrested = No.


what...
x. shampoo do you use = Pantine Pro-V
x. cologne do you use = Anything from Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body
x. shoes do you wear = Nikes, skater shoes [ehhh], Voltaires
x. are you scared of = Uhh.. getting straight F's.


number...
x. of times I have had my heart broken?: 2 by relationships, ________ by crushes. Rofl.
x. of times I have broken someone else's heart?: I forgot the actual number, but I would guess.. *counting* ..4/5 times?
x. of times I have been in love: ZERO. ZIP. NADA.
x. of girls I have kissed?: None.
x. of continents I have lived in?: Two.
x. of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends?: A lot, ever since I met A.S.S. =)
x. of people I consider my enemies?: 394759374854598435934857849837589345987459874395
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with?: Uhh. I am STILL in High school, so I guess over 2,500 people? o_O;
x. of cd's that I own?: What the fuck. Who the hell actually knows how many CDs they own? Lame.
x. of scars on my body?: There's one right next to my left eye. I also have my "FOB" mark.
x. of things in my past that I regret?: I would say that what is done is done, but I REALLY regret what I did to Anthony. God. I am a horrible monster and I pray for death. =\

Ewww...you're a horny caterpillar humping a french fry D: Don't talk to me.

What random piece of crap are you? by Grace

I'm too lazy to leave right now and do my homework, so I'll just do this one survey thing that I snagged off from Brad's Live Journal and get straight to work. If I feel like it. *feels the Homer syndrome*

/ series one - as usual
-- Name: Mil
-- Birthdate: 6/7/87
-- Birthplace: Manila, Philippines
-- Current Location: Santa Cruz, California
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: Reddish brownish purple o_O;;
-- Righty or Lefty: Righty
-- Zodiac Sign: Gemini [which means multiple personalities *shrug*]
-- Innie or Outtie: Innie

// series two -
-- Your heritage: I don't know anymore. My mom says that she's full filipino, and that my dad's mom is Chinese while his dad was partially Italian, mostly Filipino, but I really don't know. I'm basically confused who I am... concerning both my heritage and mental standing. ò_Ó
-- The shoes you wore today: Dawls
-- Your weakness?: Umm. I don't know.
-- Your fears: Having all the people that I love die before I do.
-- Your perfect pizza: Something topped with tofu, chopped broccoli, and really good pizza sauce.
-- One thing you'd like to achieve: I want to learn how to use astral projection. That would be neat.

// series three - what is
-- Your most overused phrase on aim: "..... *block*"
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "I don't want to go to school... do I have homework? .... what should I wear? .... is it an ADAY or a BDAY? .... I don't want to get up .... My butt hurts, I have to get up and stretch .... no I don't .... time is passing by, I have too go to school .... no you don't .... yes I do .... no ..... WHO THE FUCK AM I TALKING TO? *gets up and gets ready to go to school*"
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Hair
-- Your best physical feature: Umm. My wrist. o_O;
-- Your bedtime: I usually try to stay up as late as I can, until my mom yells at me to go too sleep. I like to exercise my boundaries. =P
-- Your greatest fear: Uhh. Wasn't I already asked this question? I said, "Having all the people that I love die before I do." ò_Ó <^>
-- Your most missed memory: Missed? As in if I had a chance to go back to that memory, I could? Well... I would DEFINITELY say my memories as a small, chubby little kid in the Philippines with my grandfather. He was the COOLEST person ever, and I did NOT have enough time with him in this world. I miss him. =(

// series four - you prefer
-- Pepsi or coke: Pepsi
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Neither
-- Single or group dates: Umm... Group!
-- Adidas or nike: Nike
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea.. muuuuch sweeter. *drool*
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: I don't drink coffee. But I *do* drink iced cappuccinos.
-- Thongs or Underwear: Both.

// series five -
-- Smoke: No.
-- Cuss: Yes.
-- Sing well: Umm. I don't know... I guess..?
-- Take a shower everyday: Almost.
-- Have a crush(es): Yes, x_o;;
-- who are they: Okay, I'll admit it. I used to like Brad, but I guess now I don't. After four days, I'm sorta-kinda over Andrew, but yeah. *hides*
-- Do you think you've been in love: Pffffffft.
-- Want to go to college: Definitely.
-- Like high school: I guess.
-- Want to get married: Sure, lets go right now. *drives to Vegas*
-- Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: What happened to the fifth fingers? o_O;
-- Believe in yourself: Eh.. I guess.
-- Get motion sickness: A little bit. It used to be worse when I was younger. I would get sick and throw up just from the air conditioner from a car.
-- Think you're attractive: Eh.
-- Think you're a health freak: I don't know. Maybe.
-- Get along with your parents: Yeah.
-- Like thunderstorms: It's a nice time to relax and read. No sports practice, sometimes no school, it's just.. ahhhhhhh. =D
-- Play an instrument: Piano.

// series six - in the past month, did/have you
-- Drank alcohol: No. Never tried alchohol in my life, EVER.
-- Smoke(d): No. Never tried smoking in my life, EVER.
-- Done a drug: Does Advil count? How about Midol? =D
-- Have Sex: No. I'm a virgin.
-- Made Out: No.
-- Go on a date: In the past month? Nope. Been too busy.
-- Go to the mall?: Yes, but only last Sunday.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Haven't had those in months.
-- Eaten sushi: Nope.
-- Been dumped: Hah. No.
-- Gone skating: No.
-- Made homemade cookies: Umm.. I think. I forget if that was in the past month.
-- Been in love: HAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Not that I can recall.... *looks around*
-- Dyed your hair: Yes. Wait.... no.
-- Stolen anything: Nope.

// series seven - have you ever
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing?: Yes. Eww... and it was with my cousins, when I was like 11. lol.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Yes.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Hah!!! No.
-- Been caught "doing something": Umm..... well... uhhh.... =|
-- Been called a tease: I think. I can't remember.
-- Gotten beaten up: Yes, but only by my elder family members.
-- Shoplifted: I once stole a sticker from Staples when I was 7 years old. I regret it to this day.
-- If so, did you get caught: By my mom. *dies*
-- Changed who you were to fit in: No.

God, Isaac is REALLY pissing me off. I was too mad to save our conversation, so I'll just post here what I said to Ryan when Isaac signed off/blocked me. After that, I put Isaac on my semi-permanent block list, and just blew up. -_-;;;;


KOREANGENIUS12: hmmm
KOREANGENIUS12: ya
KOREANGENIUS12: very dry convo
I am NOT pangit: bleh my friend was really pissing me off
I am NOT pangit: so I started being mean to him
I am NOT pangit: and now, he blocked me
KOREANGENIUS12: mwahah!
KOREANGENIUS12: details.?
I am NOT pangit: dude.. all I did was accidentally leave my jacket at his car, right?
KOREANGENIUS12: ok
I am NOT pangit: and he's all saying how he would drop it by this thursday
I am NOT pangit: in the morning
I am NOT pangit: i'm all
I am NOT pangit: "i have school"
I am NOT pangit: and he said he'll just drop it off in front of my door
I am NOT pangit: i'm like..
I am NOT pangit: dude, someone would steal it
I am NOT pangit: and then he said
I am NOT pangit: he'll just throw it onto my bro's balcony
I am NOT pangit: I'm like
I am NOT pangit: OMG
I am NOT pangit: why don't you just put it in the dumpster???
KOREANGENIUS12: why can't he do that?
I am NOT pangit: do what?
KOREANGENIUS12: hmm
I am NOT pangit: Dude.
KOREANGENIUS12: dudette?
I am NOT pangit: That's not nice
I am NOT pangit: that jacket is NEW, too
I am NOT pangit: I got it from socal
I am NOT pangit: and I left it in his car like, almost the day after I got back from socal
I am NOT pangit: I got it form hot topic
I am NOT pangit: and it's hella expensive
KOREANGENIUS12: does he live in santa cruz?
I am NOT pangit: so I'm hella pissed
I am NOT pangit: no
KOREANGENIUS12: well... then like nm
I am NOT pangit: GOD
I am NOT pangit: he doesn't even have school right now
I am NOT pangit: he's just like a bum
KOREANGENIUS12: lol
I am NOT pangit: he even said that he doesn't have anything to do
KOREANGENIUS12: he should just give it to you at harbor
I am NOT pangit: he could have waited two days and drop it off this sat
I am NOT pangit: and that
I am NOT pangit: dude
I am NOT pangit: I'm so pissed off
I am NOT pangit: he pisses me off all the time
I am NOT pangit: ugh
KOREANGENIUS12: why'd you ride in his car?
KOREANGENIUS12: what if he drives you off a cloff?
KOREANGENIUS12: cliff*?
KOREANGENIUS12: *pours water on mil's head*
KOREANGENIUS12: *...is choked by steam*
I am NOT pangit: hahahahhaa
I am NOT pangit: nah
KOREANGENIUS12: was that sarcastic?
I am NOT pangit: no
KOREANGENIUS12: ok then i'm happy
I am NOT pangit: lol

Ryan, by the way, is the cousin that I never knew I had... even though I've known him for four years. o_O; Well yeah, I met him in Junior High, and just recently, we found out that our families might be related somehow, since we both have relatives with the last name Bautista, both came from the same province in the Philippines, our grandmothers had the same amount of siblings, etc. So yeah, it's kind of wierd. He's going to go to Harbor next year, so yay!!

Soooo... fuuuuuucking... BOOOOORED.

God damnit. I'm pissed, too. It's over something really stupid, so I won't say.. but still. Fuck.

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.


What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla


-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are orange. You are emotional. Outside, you are bitter and stubborn, inside you are hopeful, hoping someone will come save you from the bitterness of your own mind. You constantly feel the need to prove yourself, and you look up to those who can make thier dreams happen. You are broken, but not beyond repair like maroon.

What inner color are you?

Quiz by Shirono